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Making Marriage Matter Again



 “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate.” — Albert Schweitzer

Use Sandpaper…

mwpcoverYears ago I was going through a rough spot. Really down and out of the game of life and love.

A friend of mine offered me some prophetic advice.

Reed was a great guy who refinished old violins used in the local high schools. Some came in pretty beat up.

He showed me one that was a real mess. Scratched, worn and just plain tired looking.

It looked exactly like I felt.

He played it for a couple of minutes and the sound was ok but a very raspy.

What do you think, E.R., do you think this can be salvaged?

No, not really I opined.

You’re wrong — this instrument has a lot of life and love left he offered.


Here’s the key: Sandpaper.

Obvious, I thought.

Think about it he said. If you use a chisel or a hatchet, all you’re going to do is destroy it. You’ll just have a stack of wood chips that used to be a violin.

But if you use sandpaper, little by little you will bring out the grain… and as you use finer and finer paper, you will see exactly what’s hidden within.

Marriage is like that.

Attack it with a knife, ax or hammer, and you do more damage than good. Broken beyond repair.

Lots of gouges and nicks — scratches that become so ingrained they will never heal.

But, if you start with sandpaper and gently rub the rough spots, the scratches and nicks disappear, and the beauty below starts to exude.

My wife, Jan and I rarely even have a spate or lover’s quarrel.

From the time I met her 25 years ago until today, I have gone through about 40 packages of mid, fine and extra fine sandpaper.

The curves are soft, and the feeling is laid-back most of the time.

I highly recommend you go to Lowe’s and get a couple of packs of fine and extra fine sandpaper. Keep them handy.

Whenever you feel like you need to be reminded of the beauty within, take out a piece and rub in gently on your arm.

In no time, you’ll get the point!

Merry Christmas,




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