The Great Marriage
The Definition of the word: Great…
Considerable, substantial, significant, appreciable, special, prominent, eminent, important, distinguished, illustrious, celebrated, honored, acclaimed, admired, esteemed, renowned, notable, famous, famed, well-known, leading, top, major, principal, first-rate, matchless, peerless, star, powerful, dominant, influential, strong, delightful, lovely, pleasant, congenial, exciting, thrilling, marvelous, wonderful, fine, splendid, terrific, fantastic, fabulous.
Keyword: Happiness — Marriage TQ Score = 70-85
High end of the range: Excellence, unique, uncommon, rare.
Low end of the Range: Strong, enjoyable, delightful, exciting.
When you think about the truly Exceptional Marriage, the word JOY is at top of mind. With the Great Marriage, the focus is on HAPPINESS. (If you are in a Good Marriage where SATISFACTION is the norm, and want to move up from Good to Great, the process is simple: Do the exercises in Marriage With Purpose!
Since we are taking a fresh new approach to helping people achieve a “Marriage With Purpose”, it is important that we clearly define our terms and what we mean when we use words like Joy, Happiness, Satisfaction, etc. This is much too important a discussion to leave any stone unturned.
In a nutshell, a Great Marriage is very much the product of a results-driven series of events where the “what’s in it for me” is no longer a question.
Both parties are getting what they want and need — hence, happy with each other.
Both parties are happy with the cash flow in the marriage, the accumulation of experiences, memories, toys, etc. They are happy with what each person contributes to the marriage — and the results of the mutual contributions speak for themselves.
Each person believes that their family is receiving the benefit of the bargain, and that the family unit grows each day emotionally, financially and spiritually. Conflicts are swiftly resolved.
There is true harmony between the married parties and the family as a whole. Ambitions are equally matched. Structure is equally appreciated and is well balanced.
There is virtually no backsliding, backstabbing and “blame-storming”. And while it might not be easy to overcome life’s gripping challenges, each person is HAPPY with each other and their respective approach to the marriage — as well as their overall performance.
They may certainly struggle to overcome life’s difficulties, but there is no struggle between the two of them. Each pulls their own weight (as each is physically capable) and there is zero tension between them.
They fight the good fight against outside forces together. They rarely, if ever, fight each other. (Sure, they argue their points, but in the end, it is not a win/lose competition, but rather, they constantly search for the win/win solution.)
Trust has grown from average to absolute.
Each person looks forward to even greater experiences, results and memories. In short, both parties understand what happiness means to them, personally and their marriage in general.
Yes, the Great Marriage is built by two people who have transformed their God-given talents and gifts into the combined skills needed to achieve their hopes and dreams. Both parties are not just interested in each other’s personal growth and development… they are heavily invested in it.
They work individually and together to achieve personal goals… family goals… financial goals… spiritual goals, vacation/trip goals… goals of every size and nature… from the education of their family to creating retirement security.
Great Marriages are built on absolute Clarity of VALUES… absolute Clarity of VISIONS… and absolute Clarity of the ROLES each party will play. They have many shared and complimentary Values, and few conflicting or competing values. Through excellent communication, they have developed many shared Visions, and have found a way to put themselves into the empowering Roles necessary to make those Visions real.
They are HAPPY with each other because they have shared CONVICTIONS, and each knows that what they are doing are the RIGHT things for them to be doing. Further, they have mastered their 4 R’s where they are doing the Right THINGS… the Right WAY… for the Right REASONS… at the Right TIME.
They are truly COMMITTED to making their hopes and dreams real. They NEVER pay lip service to their goals. Both parties take them very seriously.
“Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he/she automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that they automatically deserves success in marriage.” ~ Sydney J. Harris
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