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Making Marriage Matter Again

Instead of Saying I Love You, Show Love In Your Actions

In what ways can a husband show his wife that he loves her? In what ways can a wife demonstrate her love for her husband? Loving someone means much more than words can say. Showing our love is much more sincere than telling our love. Anyone can say “I love you” but not anyone can “show love” because loving someone takes effort and sacrifice. This is why scripture says, “Love must be without dissimulation”. If you are ever confused about what love is ask yourself, “Am I truly being loving by doing this, or is the person who is giving love to me showing sincerity?

When a husband shows his wife that he loves her it doesn’t necessarily mean that what he is doing is something that he wants to do. What it means is he is sacrificing something of himself to show love to his wife. As an example, when a husband shows love he may give of his time with the children and allow his wife free time for doing something for herself. He doesn’t have to do this, but he does it anyway out of love for his wife.

A husband can show his love for his wife in many ways. He may rub her feet while they watch television together. He may cook dinner for the family, or clean the house, or tune and oil her car for her to make sure it is safe for driving. He may take her out to dinner and to her favorite movie, even though the movie is not one he would have picked out to watch. He may bring her breakfast in bed on Sunday

Some husbands show their love through protecting their wives. A husband may make sure his wife does not answer the door to strangers if she is home alone. Or perhaps he does not have her drive at night to go shopping by herself. Or perhaps he buys her a handgun and shows her how to shoot it for self-defense. When a husband asks his wife to not dress in skimpy or revealing clothing, he is protecting her from men thinking lustful thoughts about his wife! Whatever it is your husband does to show his love for you, this is love. Remember, circumstances are different in every home.

When a husband loves his wife in the ways of God he is accepting his headship position with the importance it deserves. Some husbands may not want their wives to work outside of the home, which is actually the ideal situation for peace and harmony for the whole family. When a husband takes his position seriously he will be a good guide and have family regulations in place of how the household is going to be managed and what is permissible and what is not for each member of the family, including his wife. If a husband does not love, care for and protect his wife properly then he is not really loving her in the ways of God.

When a wife shows her husband her love, she does it out of respect of his headship position. Sure, a wife can rebel and not respect her husband as the man of the house, and many wives do just that, but this is not the way God designed wives to love their husbands. Some women balk at the idea of a man’s protection for her. It’s because they have been raised to believe that they don’t need a man to protect them. They have the “I am woman, hear me roar” kind of an attitude.

Sadly 75 to 80 percent of women, even though they are married, are, or will be, victims of some kind of abuse, whether it is sexual harassment from work, or being raped, robbed, or murdered. And sometimes it is by people they are acquainted with from where they work. Some wives confuse a husband’s protection as being controlling. If in the end what your husband is asking you to do is something good for you then how can that be controlling? Women and men have made a mockery out of how God shows a “husband to love his wife according to Godly principles”!

The bible tells us that a husband is to love his wife and the wife is to be respectful and submit to that love. Understand that this is what love is! Love is not sex. Love is not that giddy feeling you had when you first met your husband or wife. Love is giving of yourself, even when you don’t feel like it!

Do you think Christ felt like suffering and dying for the world sins? No, he asked God if there was any way to take the cup away from Him. “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me, nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Matthew 26:39) Jesus knew what he must do and what the Father’s will was, but if it be possible, He asked.

Christ suffered terribly. Christ went through a brutal several hours before his death. That’s love! So then how much more is it to show our love by doing nice things for the person we are married to? We’re destroying God’s marriage because of our selfishness. We can’t suffer just a little bit, instead we divorce and don’t even try restoring our marriage to God?

But look what Jesus has done for you! Couples, because they don’t know what love is are destroying their marriage and making a mockery out of God’s will for them in marriage. The picture of love in marriage is sacrificial love from the husband and a wife who respects her husband’s headship position through submission. She is his helpmeet.

“Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (*Ephesians 5:25) Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (*Ephesians 5:22 and 24)

The bottom line is, it’s nice to hear the words, “I love you” but it is much nicer to feel loved! When husbands and wives do not love one another according to God’s design for them, they are not really loving one another.

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