The Struggling Marriage
The Definition of the word STRUGGLING:
Make forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or constriction: he struggled to break free.
Strive to achieve or attain something in the face of difficulty or resistance; have difficulty handling or coping with, engage in conflict; make one’s way with difficulty; have difficulty in gaining recognition or a living; a great physical effort; a determined effort under difficulties; a very difficult task: it was a struggle to make herself understood.
Yes, struggle to break free pretty much sums up a marriage that has moved down the continuum from Mediocre. While not yet Toxic, it is very close.
Keyword: Difficulty — TQ Score 35-50…
High end of the range: Ordinary, unexciting, lackluster, decent, acceptable.
Low end of the range: chaos, drama, total dissatisfaction, indifference.
Objective: Develop the combined skills to move this marriage out of the rut, and onto the road to abundance. While it may be hard work and a real struggle to deal with everything that’s going on in your life right now, you have no alternative but to decide if you want to let your marriage sink into the toxic ooze or make the heroic effort needed to move it up where the air is fresh and good.
Recommendation: First determine if you are in this ALONE… or TOGETHER. If alone, then you need to work on YOU to the fullest extent possible.
Become the best, strongest YOU possible and if your spouse refuses to get with the program, at least you have grown to the point where you can drive your own destiny.
If as a couple, then you BOTH need to get serious about your performance starting with becoming absolutely clear about your Vision, Values and Roles. Do the work in Marriage With Purpose as if your life depends on it… because it does.
A Struggling Marriage — Determined effort under great difficulties…
Look at the definitions above. Pretty much sums up what a Struggling Marriage is all about, doesn’t it?!
This marriage is a toxic breeding ground for a life of unhappiness and perpetual dissatisfaction. As you will remember from our discussion about the Mediocre/Average Marriage where the keyword is SATISFACTION, the Struggling Marriage would love to find a life where simple satisfaction is the norm.
People in a Struggling Marriage find little hope in their finances, their careers or their spiritual life. They struggle for balance. They struggle to make it payday to payday. They struggle to smile. They point the finger at each other, believing that blame-storming is the same as brain-storming. They struggle to be heard, to be understood and to be accepted.
Sure there are bright spots, and hope. But people at this level will have to make a serious commitment to their personal performance FIRST, and their relationship SECOND.
It is simply not possible to flick your fingers and boom, move up the continuum from where you are to good or great. It will take lots of learning, coaching and training to get your numbers UP and your life back on TRACK. But the good news is, we see people do it every day!
The Struggling Marriage is not a Hopeless Marriage.
It has issues that must be positively dealt with. Again, do the work in Marriage With Purpose as if your life depends on it… because it does.
“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.” ~ Josh Billings
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